Life has been crazy lately. I've been back to my job at a half-time level. But the schedule is still a full-time schedule. I get to work at 8am then I'm done at about 12:30. Then I get home and nap until about 4 or 5, depending how much sleep I need. Then I have a normal evening. What a "normal" evening means is that I try to catch up on housework, music work, social work, etc. that has been unattended for the last four months. (OMG, it's been four months!?!?!) I need to slow down again. I also need to get stuff done. Somehow the mathematical expression of "≠" comes to mind. It's not that I'm not happy, because I am. I'm just easily frustrated with how little I can do this far out from the radiation. I had more energy a month and a half after the brain surgery than I have now. It just feels like I'm holding on to a bullet train (on the outside of it) and hoping I can wrench myself back into my seat on the inside of it before my grip fails. I know I need to know that it's not a bullet train and it's just my expectations of what I think I should be able to do and how what I actually am able to do right now is much less than usual. But it's still frustrating. :\
But good things are happening. I've been working with my friend Jon at Pyrate Llama Recording Studio on an album by Evrim. The album is sounding really good. I've also been trying to work on an album of music by Brittany Woods that is doubling as my Master's thesis. That's going much slower, but that's about to change. Jon at Pyrate Llama donated a block of studio time to the auction that happened back on April 7th. My friend Alan snagged it up and his band, Kenny Lee and the Sundowners will be recording there soon. If I understand it right, I'll be running the session. My friend Eldon Hardenbrook, who is an amazing songwriter, is also working on an album and I have been helping him with that, doing guitar solos and giving feedback on his sketches. The Portland Jazz Connection, who were the small combo that Jai and I played with at the event on June 30th will be recording soon, too. So...now I look at it all and think to myself, "The dream begins to emerge and you're complaining?!?!" But the truth is, I'm tired and just whining about that. Everything else is cool. But I am tired of being tired.
Thanks again to everyone who helped out on both of the fundraisers! They have been wonderful spiritual boosts to me and have also been instrumental in helping Jai and I get through this tough and very weird time. I tend to get the spotlight for this process, but Jai feels all the frustration and pain with me. She also feels the gratitude. We thank you all and I have to add, "Thank you, Jai, I love you!"
It's me, Kevin, but with a brain tumor. Disclaimer: I have a very dry and twisted sense of humor. This is a scary situation. The jokes ("tumor humor") could be a little dark from time to time. I intend to keep this rather interesting for you, but if I get a "how could you SAY that?!?" response from you, know it's just, well, I hesitate to use "gallows" humor, but I don't have better phrase for it. Enjoy, and thanks for your support through this time.