A better kind of waiting begins.
So, yesterday evening at about 7pm(PDT), I head from my radiation oncologist again. He had had a chance to discuss with the neurosurgeon and they agreed that they did not have enough data to conclusively decide that it is indeed a new tumor. In fact, they agreed that it is most likely NOT a new tumor, but rather some leftover garbage from the radiosurgery (perhaps a collection of fried cells that have yet to be metabolized completely). To get a more definite opinion from them, they need another reference point to compare this data with. So, they're scheduling another MRI for me in about six weeks. My initial reaction was "holy $#^& that's forever!" (It is longer than it took to get into the surgery after the initial finding of the possible tumor.) But then I thought about it for a few hours after the conversation and it dawned on me that, given that they know me now and have spent considerably more time with my information than before I met them, coupled with their professional experience (they do this everyday - often 7 days a week and way more than 8 hours a day - he called me on a Saturday afternoon and a Monday evening, for cryin' out loud) and they said that they were "not worried about it" (direct quote) and that six weeks isn't that long in the development of a tumor. The doc added that I should still be on the lookout for symptoms that are too familiar and to call him immediately if anything like that should come up. But his tone of voice had that "disclaimer" kind of ring to it, which tells me that he's quite confident in his advice. So, I'm glad I'm not writing this from a hospital bed right now and that I get to go to my brother's extremely-after-the-fact wedding reception next weekend. (They've been married for two years now!) So, for now, I'm getting back onto my best behavior about diet and time/rest management. It's my belief nowadays that prolonged high levels of stress are probably one of the most carcinogenic situations we face these days. It's a shame that "prolonged high levels of stress" can be a euphemism for "adult".
And the waiting is over!!!
So, I got the preliminary results back from the radiation oncologist. Good news, they got everything. Bad news, there's something new. It's 9mm x 5mm and in just about the same place. I'll be in contact with the doc Monday morning about the plan of attack. To put it politely, "Shit."
And the waiting returns....
I had my MRI on Tuesday and everything went well. (For all the fear from earlier, it's gotten to be pretty routine for me now. Weird how that happens!) However, I've not heard back from the doc yet. So, we're all in the same boat here, just waiting....and hoping. :)
Today is the first workday that I didn't take a nap after coming home from my half-day at work. I've been working only mornings at my job, but it's been full duty for a little while now. At first, I came home exhausted and so took a nap until about 5 or 6pm. Lately, the naps have been only about an hour or so long. Today: no nap at all. It's 10pm and I'm feeling pretty good. But as I sit here at my computer (for the first time today), I feel that I am indeed pretty tired. (Don't worry, I'll be going to bed soon!) This past weekend I was in the studio as a producer with Kenny Lee and the Sundowners, a really cool blues outfit from Portland. I didn't take naps on Saturday or Sunday, either. I probably would've been able to not nap after work on Monday, but Jai and I went to Faerieworlds and saw none other than Donovan live on stage. We were about two people back from the stage, so we saw him up close. He had great energy and seemed generally glad to be performing his songs for us, even if the pick-up band was missing cues left and right. It looked like they were all having immense fun which made the show a lot of fun.
In other news, I have an MRI coming up that will [hopefully] sound the all clear. That happens in about a week. I'm not sure when the results will be known to me, but as soon as I find out, I'll post about it. Let's all hope!
It's me, Kevin, but with a brain tumor. Disclaimer: I have a very dry and twisted sense of humor. This is a scary situation. The jokes ("tumor humor") could be a little dark from time to time. I intend to keep this rather interesting for you, but if I get a "how could you SAY that?!?" response from you, know it's just, well, I hesitate to use "gallows" humor, but I don't have better phrase for it. Enjoy, and thanks for your support through this time.